Now that I have your attention. This post is about men and women and the fun they have dating, socializing. Well, maybe not so fun according to a friend of mine who’s in the dating world right now and not loving it so much.
I’m going to call her Amy. Amy is a professional with a very busy job. She works in a profession that’s male-dominated, but as many professions that in the past were predominately male-dominated, women are gaining ground.
The feminist movement began way back in the 18th century. Fast-forward to the late-1960s when it really picked up momentum and although we heard of women “burning their bras,” everywhere that actually never happened except for one tiny display.
The only real reference that hints of it was the 1968 Miss American Pageant in Atlantic City according to this source and women became labeled as angry bra-burners. I wasn’t wearing a bra then but I do remember going without one when I was in my twenties. In the 1970s, Helen Reddy was roaring and everyone was listening. Including men.
Women Began Doing “Men Things”
Marilyn French wrote the Women’s Room, Betty Friedan wrote the Female Mystique. Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying was one of my favorite books. Movies like the Working Girl and Fatal Attraction came out in the 1980s. These women were smart and sometimes, if you really ticked ‘em off, deadly.
In the 1990s, John Gray tried to tell both men and women what we both wanted and how we could communicate better in his book, Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
Somewhere along the way, most women were depicted as angry and oppressed and men just didn’t know what to do, got the wrong idea of what women wanted — maybe.
I can’t possibly cover the complexities of this in a post. I was in the corporate world at one time wanting, rightfully so, the same pay as my male colleagues for doing the same work. And, I do remember back then thinking maybe there were those men who seemed a bit intimidated by a woman that didn’t fit into the mold of what their moms or grandmothers were. Not that there was anything wrong with that.
Women wanted a choice. Now we have that. But what’s happened during all of we “angry” oppressed women wanting that, is men, according to the conversation I had with my friend, is that now,….well, they don’t really know what to do anymore.
In a simplistic way we went from this:
“I don’t know if it’s Manhattan men or what, but they just seem to be a bunch of p*ssies,” my friend said to me.
“What do you mean?”
“They don’t seem to know what to do. It seems more up to me to make the first move,” she said.
“Well, do that, make the first move,” I said. (Although I remember wanting the same when I was in that dating world during my 30s, wanting a guy to make the first move.)
“I don’t want to. I want to be pursued. I want him to ask me. I guess I’m old-fashioned that way.”
She’s a smart, educated gorgeous woman in her thirties and a man should pursue her. Why is this so difficult??
What Women Want
I get how she feels and I don’t think it’s just Manhattan men. There was a small group of us, most of us married and we discussed how maybe because women are working in the same professions as men, men think women want that choice as well — to make the “first move.” Maybe they think if they approach a women, open the door for her, pay for drinks or dinner, that a “professional” woman would be insulted.
Amy said something like it’s not that she can’t pay her own way or whatever, but she thinks on the first date or when they’re getting to know each other, well men should kind of….pursue, make an impression. Let a woman know she’s worth it. Does that sound outdated??
I’ve mentioned my best guy friend in past post (the one that’s no longer in the physical world) and we’d have these discussions. He was single and he’d tell me the same thing.
“I can’t figure out what women what. Sometimes I’m afraid if I open a door for them or automatically assume I’m paying on a first date, they’ll be insulted.” He worked in a corporate environment and would date women that make the same income as him, sometimes more. He was confused too.
“We want it all,” I told him. “Men got to have it all for a very long time. We want that.”
He’d just shake his head and mutter something about how women are crazy. I’d correct him with, “We aren’t crazy, we’re complicated. Your gender is much more simple.” And I’d explain not in a “simpleton” kind of way. When men say something such as “I don’t want a commitment,” that’s exactly what they mean.
Women can say that and that may not exactly be the truth, if you know what I’m saying. Women gauge reactions, look out for themselves and try not to show their vulnerability, show their “full hand” until they feel safe enough with a potential partner to do so. Men just get the shite right on out there.
We’re Still Roaring and It’s Fun
Most of my readers are women. Some of you are married and some are single. What do you think? I’ve got a few male followers, so if you read this, please leave a comment.
I think it’s simple: The more things change, the more they stay the same.
What the heck, press play and ROAR. It’s fun.
Photo creds: bra-burning, happy housewife, professional women