I bet you can pull up a memory of a moment right now that makes you literally catch your breath. You know, one of those moments where you were filled with such joy, anguish, hope, sorrow, surprise, elation — whatever, a feeling so magnificent and enormous that you were only breathing in. Your body goes through changes — tiny hairs stand up, goose bumps rise and cool tingles wash through you and over you.
Kodak created a huge and successful marketing campaign about moments back in the early 90s. Remember those commercials? Yes, they were a little corny, but c’mon, they tugged at you too if you can remember them. It so resonated with us that it became and is still part of our dialect and culture — “That’s a Kodak moment.” A little tagline that sums up all that humanness. “The moments of our lives.”
I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a place where you wonder what’s it all for? Am I just taking up space? It’s not a fun place to be, but at some point, something happens that makes you go forward, regain your footing and know that you have a purpose and that life is going to get better. Let’s face it, life’s not easy all the time. We go through enormous pain and change. We sometimes lose faith and hope, but that old saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” it’s true, isn’t it?
One of those moments for me was when I was in a dark place in my life. There was a point in my life where I felt so excruciatingly alone that it hurt, a physical ache that was constant. I was pretty messed up, for lack of a better definition.
Anyway, I sat on the stoop of a home that I wasn’t going to be in anymore. It was end of Fall and one of those cool, clear nights where stars filled up the sky and the moon was huge and bright. It lit everything up and the trees stood out like black relief against that gorgeous sapphire sky. Home didn’t feel like anywhere.
As I cursed at a God that I had serious doubts even existed, one of those things washed over me. I swear to you it was like my life was sliced in two. The before and after, as if that other me was gone and the new me was someone I didn’t know yet. It was one of those soul-wrenching, mind-blowing, tingling, there’s no going back moments that’s indescribable. Where you really think, God’s here. I’m not a religious person, more spiritual, but I felt that, that night and it was real. That little bud of hope. Clarity, where you know, without doubt, everything is going to be okay.
I’m not saying life became instantly rosy right after that, but that moment was a precious, bittersweet, scary, agonizing, joyous thing, if that makes sense. Sometimes those moments involve all kinds of emotions.
And then other ones…..
Falling in love with my husband, it happens in an instant, when you fall. MOMENT.
Watching a loved one open her eyes after she’d been very ill and speak. MOMENT.
Many years ago, my then eight-year-old nephew putting his little hand on my face and saying, “I know you’re sad, but everything’s going to be okay cause all you need is love and you got that.” Out of the mouths of babes. MOMENT.
There’s so many others, very personal and life-changing that I can remember that still do that to me. Makes me catch my breath, fills me up with such feeling that tears come to my eyes, those tiny hairs stand up and tingles just wash all over me. Others make me laugh out loud.
That’s what makes life so affirming and wonderful — those kind of moments and the ones that we’ll remember when we come to the end of our lives and are ready to go from this place to the next.
Happy Monday everyone and I hope you have some lovely, incredible moments this week.