Do you ever ask yourself why you have cable? If I didn’t have it I’d read more, which really wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Hate’s a Strong Word
What one feels after watching too many informercials. Grrrr..I Hate My ____!!!!
There are numerous choices to poison fill our brains with—all kinds of “entertainment,” some so ridiculous, I can’t even talk about it. I’ve noticed a few of the ridiculous ones on the channel guide:
I Hate My Hair!
I Hate My Butt!
I Hate My Wrinkles!
I’ve not watched any of them. I’m assuming they’re infomercials. Recently, I’ve noticed, “Don’t Let Your Neck Reveal Your Age!” on the guide. All have exclamation points in case you don’t get the gist of how crucial it is for you to watch it and for God’s sake, fix yourself before it’s too late.
This aging thing is not for sissies and despite the fact I try very hard not to dwell on narcissistic thoughts, I do sometimes. That’s the funny thing about aging—you look at yourself in the mirror every day and you don’t see it—until you see it. Then it’s like—who the hell is that?
I’ve had this post sitting on my desktop for nearly a month. Though I’ve been quiet for awhile, it seems some of my talented bloggy buddies have been thinking about this very thing. Lou wrote an OUTSTANDING post about it. Then Audra penned one of her wonderful poems about it (not sure where it is now, but A, it WAS great). Maggie talks about her professional life in her latest post and what it’s like to be a mature woman in the workplace. V from LA broke open a spin cycle near Thanksgiving to inspire (in her hilarious way) us all to get healthier. Go read them—they are superb.
Slowly I Turn…
I did. Turned and pinched a nerve. Though I’ve read some of my favorite blogs, I’ve not commented. Sorry about that, y’all. Sometimes we have to disconnect.
I do when I’m not feeling well mentally or physically. I’m better now so I’m not going to go into boring detail about the pinched nerve thing. It hurt. I feel better.
I don’t recall this happening five years ago, so there’s that fracking aging thing again.
Let’s Just Stop Already
“I’m the nicest goddamn dame that ever lived. I am just too much.” Bette Davis
I’m with you, Bette. Nice with attitude.
As a middle-aged woman, I’m slowly learning to not be so judgmental about myself. I was very harsh with myself when I was a young woman. I was gorgeous—all of us are—when that youth bloom thing is going on. We are. I think one of the good things about getting older is acceptance.
I don’t want to feel hate for myself, anyone else or any thing. It takes so much to have it inside you. It’s depressing and stressful and exhausting.
I Love My __________
I think there should be a program called I Love My (fill in the blank)! I’ll start.
I love my hair! It’s always been one of my best features. It tends to wave and curl in humid climates, like my Mom’s. It’s thick like my Dad’s was.
I love my butt! Hubby likes it. Nothing wrong with baby having some back. Love your butt – just do it.
I love my wrinkles! I don’t have that many, I don’t think. When I see women who’ve had too much botox or plastic surgery (and I’m not against that for the right reasons but I can’t do it because I’ve seen how it’s done and I hate pain), it looks strange. What’s the point of having a face that can’t express itself with lines? Those lines can be beautiful—crinkling around eyes or framing a big smile that lights up a room.
I love my eyes. They are blue like my Dad’s were and deep set and big like my Mom’s.
I love my body! It gets me around. I can walk and lift and stretch and dance. And I love it when a nerve stops pinching it. Today I love it so much. Hopefully, I can keep this going. One day at a time.
I love my compassion! I’ve felt it for others as far back as I can remember. I love this about myself. I own it. It feels good to have it.
You are as young as you’re ever going to be today. Celebrate that.
Who’s with me? What do you love about you? It’s okay to brag. Tell it! Love it!
Brigitte's Banter 
I love this! I don’t watch those stupid informercials either. I love my skin when I’m not having a middle age zit outbreak. I love my teeth and my smile. I love my legs.
It shouldn’t be that hard to think of the things we love about ourselves. Thanks for the reminder B!
Posted by Maggie O'C | January 30, 2014, 2:27 pmWell thanks, Maggie. And stoopid “beauty” magazines either, infomercials in print. I like your smile too. And you’re welcome. Thank you.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 3:45 pmI LOVE this post! And I, too, love your eyes. Your header is terrific. Is the pic of the eyes new? If not, my apologies. I’d make a lousy detective since I often don’t notice things. But I LOVE it.
As for myself, I love my cardiovascular endurance. I can sweat through a tough workout like it’s nobody’s business. As long as I’ve got that, I don’t worry so much about the wrinkles and crinkles. I can’t do anything about them (because like you, I’m not a fan of procedures), but I CAN treat my body well. (And still indulge in some chocolate…)
Posted by Carrie Rubin | January 30, 2014, 2:46 pmRIGHT ON!
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | January 30, 2014, 3:24 pmEspecially from a woman who does tough yoga in scorching heat. Go Ruta!
Posted by Carrie Rubin | January 30, 2014, 3:28 pmIronically, my cardio vascular is the hardest thing for me – I am not built to sprint…but I can endure … albeit slowly…
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | January 30, 2014, 3:29 pmI don’t know how she does that heat thing. ugh.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 3:50 pmAh, shucks.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 4:01 pmHey Carrie, thank you. Yep, those are my eyes–thanks. I know that you are a cardio-maniac which is a very good thing. I remember that post of yours when you were on your treadmill and a, I think it was, Star Wars mask on—? Funny. And I did read your post about self-promotion. And I’m all for it–you wrote a book–you should promote, promote, promote. And I indulge in chocolate as well. Thanks, Carrie.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 3:47 pmYou’re close–I did yoga in a Yoda costume for a blog post. Not sure where my mind was that day.
Posted by Carrie Rubin | January 30, 2014, 3:53 pmIt was quite creative, Carrie and made me laugh out loud. I knew it involved exercise and a mask. That’s not weird at all.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 4:01 pmGreat post, Brigitte. I love my eyes and nose. I used to hate my nose, but I’ve decided it’s not bad. It’s unique to my genes and I love the ancestor’s who passed it down to me.
Posted by char | January 30, 2014, 3:15 pmThanks Char. You know I like my nose too. And I’ve seen your nose–quite an attractive one I think. Hope life is treating you wonderfully.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 3:48 pmI always thought my nose was so big as a teenager when I’d compared it to all those dainty aquiline noses I saw on most girls. It’s good to get older and finally accept yourself and like certain attributes that drove you crazy as a self-absorbed teen.
Posted by char | January 30, 2014, 4:02 pmI think we (especially women) have all these preconceived notions about ourselves that just stick with us. I don’t know if men experience it or they just don’t care or they don’t dwell on it as much as we do. But on good days, for the most part, I’m way more accepting of myself than I once was.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 4:05 pmSame here.
Posted by char | January 30, 2014, 4:07 pmI love that I don’t have cable! And Love your posts!
I love that people tell me I’m very genuine and my smile reaches my eyes. I’ll take it – I’m a WYSIWYG person. I love my Yoga practice – and how I look doing it and how I feel at the end of it. I love my choices in friends!
I hope your pinched nerve dissipates soon – being in constant pain is debilitating and depressing.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | January 30, 2014, 3:24 pmI love that you don’t have cable too. I keep saying I’m going to stop it! For the longest time, we had rabbit ears, but that doesn’t work anymore. Thanks, Ruta–that’s such a nice compliment coming from you. You seem very genuine and badass at the same time. A very great combination. Yes, that blasted pinched nerve thing is nearly healed. Wonderful how the body heals itself. So nice to see you here. Thank you.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 3:50 pmI do love your posts – you’re pretty much ‘the real deal’ in my opinion 🙂
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | January 30, 2014, 3:54 pmThanks, Ruta. Back at ya, sister.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 3:57 pmI love my smarts, my curves and my strong and most of all I love me for me:) Great Post – thanks so much for sharing! Happy Day.
Posted by cravesadventure | January 30, 2014, 4:11 pmCraves, I love that you shared that. Those are some fine attributes to love. Thank you–you have a great day too and so nice to see you again.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 4:15 pmI’m fond of my curly hair and my long legs and my smile. I straightened my hair for decades, cursed my legs that caused trousers to be too short and didn’t smile until I saved my money and paid for braces when I was in my 20’s. Now, I let it curl as it will, buy trousers with deep hems, and smile all the time.
Posted by Addie | January 30, 2014, 4:24 pmOh, how is life with long legs? (smile). Don’t forget those Liz Taylor brows of yours, Addie. I love my smile too. Thanks for sharing the love about yourself.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 4:26 pmI love this post and I love the awesomeness of your readers in the comment stream.
I love your kindness and your friendship. You are the reAl deal woooooman
Posted by unfetteredbs | January 30, 2014, 4:49 pmAudra, I love your poetry and so does everyone who reads it. I know, aren’t these peeps great? So are you. Thank you–YOU are the real deal. And you have a helluva awesome aura. I think most would agree with that, as you know from a recent occurrence. (BIG FAT SMILE) right at you.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 4:58 pmHush now. Grin… Thanks lady.
Posted by unfetteredbs | January 30, 2014, 4:59 pmA total stranger digs your vibe/aura. That doesn’t happen often. Special! You. You’re welcome. Grin back.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 5:01 pmThis made me chuckle
Cable has long been banished from my life – now over 5 years with no television even.
I do have netflix so that still allows me to find the silly shows – but I can choose to pretend they ain’t there!
Posted by merlinspielen | January 30, 2014, 4:54 pmWell hey, Merlin! Glad it made you chuckle– I love that. I’ve heard many say they’ve abandoned the cable in lieu of Netflix. Hope there’s no infomercials there. Thanks and nice to see you again.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 4:59 pmYou are welcome! I do drop by and read now and then but mostly I just giggle and snort and don’t leave a comment 🙂
There may very well be infomercials but so far I haven’t found them (or even looked!)
Posted by merlinspielen | January 30, 2014, 5:16 pmGreat post! I think the world would be a lot better place if people loved more about themselves. There are aspects about my character and person that frustrate me, but nothing I really hate. I could list so many self-loves that before I was halfway through I’d sound like the most conceited ass on the planet, so I’ll settle for just one.
I love that I’ve been “afflicted” with attention deficit disorder. My thought process doesn’t always work the way it’s “supposed” to, and that’s made all the difference.
Posted by Smaktakula | January 30, 2014, 5:11 pmHey Smak, I agree with you. You can list all the self-love you want to here. It’s all good and all welcome. I read your AWESOME post about the “girls you’ve loved before.” I think Willie Nelson sang that tune once, didn’t he? Anyway I loved that post. I think it’s very wise of you to view your “affliction” as a positive and something you love. That can only lead to good things as it obviously has for you. Thank you–great to see you here.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 5:23 pmBravo!!!! 🙂
Posted by brickhousechick | January 30, 2014, 6:51 pmBravissimo! Thanks, Brickhouse.
Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 6:57 pmI love my tiny boobs that aren’t sagging like everybody else’s. 😉 What do you call middle aged Brigitte? I thought you were still a youngen. I’m 50, guess I’m middle aged now and will live to 100!
Posted by dianasschwenk | January 30, 2014, 8:41 pmWell D, that’s a great thing to love and I love your reason! I guess I’ll be the same as you and we will write each other when we are both 100. I consider 50/early 50s middle-aged, don’t you? And I am a youngen’ as you say. Inside my head anyway.
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Posted by Brigitte | January 30, 2014, 10:20 pmhaha I’m 32 in my head on weekdays and about 17 on weekends!
Posted by dianasschwenk | January 31, 2014, 9:29 amI love the fact that since I’ve been riding my spin bike for 40 minutes every other day, when I turn sideways now I no longer look five months pregnant.
Sorry to hear about your neck pain. I’ve been there. Mine happened several years ago after engaging in the act or oral intimacy with my (at that time) partner, Voom, a woman best described as being of the difficult persuasion. I had secretly read a sex manual prior to this encounter. Everyone seemed to be enjoying herself substantially, but afterward, Voom insisted that since our relations had so vastly improved, I was obviously cheating on her. Whether it was pride or stupidity, I could not bring myself to reveal that I had scoured a do-it-yourself guide on giving better oral pleasure, but she was so accusatory, the next day I woke with that pinched nerve. It persisted for three months, but went away as quickly as it came after we broke up. That’s when I realized that she was the pain in my neck.
You have touched on quite a nerve with many of us with this thought provoking post, Brig.
Posted by lameadventures | January 30, 2014, 11:06 pmV, glad to hear that spin bike is working for you, Amazing when we move more, eat less the whole transformation thing happens. Shhh, don’t let anyone know that’s the secret. It would destroy the whole billion dollar diet industry.
Holy crap on a cracker, I did not see that nerve pain neck story coming! The things you can Google these days! ahem. My neck pain came from lifting heavy things up and putting them down the week prior to the pinched nerve/neck pain. I awoke on a Sunday morning, sat up, turned my head and it was as if someone was pulling a rubber band from my head to my feet with no give. I couldn’t turn my head. Not fun. Hubby did rub some Flex-all on my neck and trapezoids but it did not result in a Al Green or Marvin Gaye kind of night if you know what I’m saying.
You’re funny,
Posted by Brigitte | January 31, 2014, 11:19 amI love my life, hair, personality, body, legs, finger nails… I love me! Thanks for encouraging us to take the time to think about the things we love about ourselves!!! I really enjoy your blogs!
Posted by Math Education Concepts | January 31, 2014, 12:35 pmHi Nneka and welcome! Thanks for sharing what you love about yourself. I’m so glad you enjoyed and hope you’ll stop by again.
Posted by Brigitte | January 31, 2014, 1:00 pmI love this post and love that you have such a positive outlook on this whole looks/aging thing. You’d think me being of the age that most women would want to go back to, I wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. Until I see all these beauty bloggers/articles urging people in my age group to add an anti-aging product into our daily routines to “prevent wrinkles and boost collagen production.” Excuse me? I thought we were at our prime here! Why am I being told to worry about wrinkles and collagen production when I’m barely a quarter of a century years old??
Glad to hear you’re feeling better and I’m glad to be reading your blogs again. 😉
Posted by lillianccc | January 31, 2014, 2:38 pmLillian, Hey! How are you and London? It’s all very basic, the aging thing. There’s no lotion or potion that’s going to stop it. And you, in your 20s shouldn’t be worrying about wrinkles! It’s insane but marketing works because there’s a whole demographic that’s buying those products you’re talking about way before they need to be concerned about it. It’s inevitable, getting older and all that comes with it. Genetics and lifestyle habits can slow or accelerate it to some extent I suppose but we all age, right? Most days I have a positive attitude. The days I don’t I just soldier on. Thank you, Lillian and good to see you.
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Posted by Brigitte | January 31, 2014, 6:33 pmI love…. YOU! 🙂 And this post! And I agree that your eyes are beautiful! They fit perfectly with your beautiful face!
Why is it so much easier to hate than love things about ourselves?!!
Okay, so here’s my “I love…”
I love being skinny. This wasn’t always the case. But after years of being asked if I’m anorexic, being told that I need to gain weight or that I’m too skinny — despite the fact that I eat like a normal person and do not, in fact, have an eating disorder — I have accepted my body type (for the most part). As a kid, I used to wear double pants to look bulkier, or clothes that were two sizes too big to hide my body, but at some point — most likely after high school, I started to embrace it. I is what I is. I think you’re onto something here, sister. 🙂
Maybe we can Skype on Sunday?
xox
Posted by Carly | January 31, 2014, 4:27 pmI love you back, Carly and thank you lovely. You’re gorgeous and thin and you should embrace that. You’ve got beautimus peepers yourself.
We could do the Skype. I wrote a chapter! xxoo
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Posted by Brigitte | January 31, 2014, 6:36 pmYay! Send it to me!
Posted by Carly | February 1, 2014, 11:50 amI love the fact that I take care of myself and it shows. Yes, there are laugh lines around my eyes. And my cheeks are fuller than they used to be. But they look healthy and normal, unlike some faces that have either suffered too much abuse or are forced to be something they’re not. I do wish that the joints would behave better and that my hair didn’t need help keeping its “natural” color. But the last few years, I’ve come to some of the acceptance that you describe. Reality TV and ideals of “beauty” that require extreme and artificial measures need to go the way of the dinosaurs, though.
Posted by jmmcdowell | January 31, 2014, 4:43 pmI’m with you, J and from your pics, I can see how you have indeed taken care of you! I’m there with you on the joints–seriously, what’s up with that? I just “enhanced” my hair today. I told hubby last week, I wish it would just turn that awesome platinum color you see on some women and I’d embrace that. HA! Just kidding, I’m not rushing anything.
Surely we will wise up as a culture and that extreme plastic surgery nonsense will be one of those things that people will one day wonder, “what the heck were we thinking?!” Thanks, J.
Sent from Brigitte’s iPad
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Posted by Brigitte | January 31, 2014, 6:44 pm“Who the hell is that?” — hahaha! My words exactly — today passing a mirror at Home Goods. Eh well. Gravity. I’m 51 one dernit — what do I expect? Like you, I totally appreciated being young with velvety skin, etc. I didn’t take it for granted. So here I am now. And I’m still hot! Ahahaha! — There’s a lot to be said for character and experience. My 28 year old super hits on me (but there may be something wrong with him — hehehe). The aging thing does take some getting used to — agreed. I remind myself not to be greedy — let the young girls do their thing — it’s their turn, we’ve had ours — hahaha!
Posted by Sandee | February 1, 2014, 3:30 amHey Sandee!! I think I’m still hot too just a different kind of hot. Ha! And you’re right, it’s a kind of passing of the torch. So wonderful to see you and I hope you’re doing great.
P.s. Nothing wrong with that 28-year-old. Own it girl.
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Posted by Brigitte | February 1, 2014, 2:04 pmI love this and I love your advice–why do we hate so much of ourselves? I am so with you Brigitte–we need to celebrate ourselves not cut ourselves down – thanks for this astute and insightful post!
Posted by on thehomefrontandbeyond | February 1, 2014, 4:45 pmThanks, Lou! Thank you for the same and hope you’re doing great.
Posted by Brigitte | February 1, 2014, 5:49 pmI love the fact that I can lose 10 pounds when I set my mind to do it (which I did last Fall and have kept off!). Not that I did it because I was trying to impress anyone, but because my jeans simply fit better. The muffin top was starting to bug me!
I agree with you on so many levels, Brig. I think aging has definitely given me the opportunity to be kinder to myself and others. And like you, I try not to use the word “hate” or even think it for that matter. It serves no purpose. The wrinkles just are what they are and I’m happy that most of them indicate years of smiling and laughing!
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | February 2, 2014, 10:34 amThat’s great, Cathy. You know, I’m pretty good at that too. The fact that you’ve kept it off is GREAT. Isn’t it nice when our jeans fit so well? Life is better. Ha! And that word and feelings of inadequacy or that voice that may start to berate serves no purpose either. Changing self-talk is one of the best ways to love one’s self, I think. Thanks, C.
Posted by Brigitte | February 2, 2014, 2:20 pmI love your posts! (Sorry for the pinched nerve. I’m so glad you’re back.) I love that others laugh at those silly infomercials too. I love that other women feel like I do about aging.
This is a little harder, but . . . I love my smile. I love my kindness. I love my physical strength.
Thanks for putting us all in a positive frame of mind!
Posted by Noted in Nashville | February 3, 2014, 6:01 pmHi Anita! Why thank you, I’m so glad you do. It’s wayyy better now but boy, it sure makes you appreciate when you feel well again! I love your smile too and it doesn’t surprise me you’re strong–in all kinds of ways. Thank you for taking the time to share your loves (of you) and for being positive yourself. So nice to see you, Anita.
Posted by Brigitte | February 3, 2014, 6:10 pmHi Brigitte, If we could just dump all of the corporations that make fortunes off persuading us we look bad so we will buy their products, what a much better world this would be. –Curt
Posted by Curt Mekemson | February 6, 2014, 5:58 pmHey Curt, you know you might have something there and reinvest all that time and money into persuading we look good, vital and okay–without any impossible standards that tell us otherwise. Then invest in those corporations that create jobs for people that promote acceptance of one’s self. I’m sure there’s plenty of books and products that could celebrate that!
Posted by Brigitte | February 10, 2014, 4:09 pmYes!
Posted by Curt Mekemson | February 10, 2014, 4:40 pm