When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. — Ernest Hemingway.
When I began this weekly series ten weeks ago, I wanted to write these posts in such a way that they came across as inspiring and somewhat personal. I didn’t want them to sound “preachy” or Pollyanna-ish, ‘cause trust me, I’m far from being a Pollyanna.
Usually a memory will trigger a topic or they’ll come from a stranger I meet. This one was inspired by someone very close to my home and heart — my handsome hubby who always inspires me. He is the most decent human being I’ve ever met and although, he’s not perfect, he’s always had a innate sense of empathy and charity — of seeing life and situations through others’ eyes.
A Brief History
Just a brief note about how I met him. Over a decade ago, I was in radio and a well-known radio team in the area was hosting a charity remote. I was acting as co-host with them for a charity that asked for donations of money or musical instruments to give to inner-city schools. It was a wonderful organization that promoted cultural and artistic after-school activities for latch-key kids.
When I saw him milling about in the crowd and making a donation, I nudged one of radio colleagues and said something about this guy that would later become my husband. I won’t say what I said here, but my colleague friend said, “What don’t you go talk to him at the next break?”
“No,” I said, “if he wants to talk to me, he can come up to me.” I was into one of those I’m-a-single-woman-and-don’t-need-a-man-to-make-me-happy phases in my life.
“Besides,” I said, “he’s probably either an a-hole or he’s gay.” (I have nothing personal against a-holes — dated plenty of them and I had so many gay friends, I really didn’t need another one to go to all the gay parties I used to go to at that time).
Later, during a break, he DID come up to me (and that took cojones because he could’ve become fodder for some radio-talk that they often did if I dated a guy) and he knew all this. Anyway he was all clumsy and dropping things when I talked to him which I thought was so wonderful. We ended up having a drink later that night and talking the entire night. From that day on, we haven’t stopped talking and I married him about two years later. Ah, those chance encounters.
My Inspiration
ANYWAY, back to my inspiration for this post. Saturday night, hubby called on his way home from work (he was on a decent shift and we were able to have a nice Saturday night, rare for us). I was preparing burgers to cook on the grill and I asked him to stop by the Costco wine store to pick up some wine for dinner.
I’ll be home in about twenty minutes he told me. Forty-five or so minutes later he pulled up in the driveway. I asked him what took so long.
He’d been walking into the wine store when a lady approached him in the parking lot. He said she spoke broken English and was very upset. She needed food to feed her children. My husband went with her into Costco and she picked out some items and he bought her the food she needed.
When they walked out of the store, he gave her the bags and she thanked him profusely, pressing a twenty-dollar bill in his hand. He didn’t want to take it, tried walking away, but she followed him and insisted that he did. He said she acted as if it would be insulting if he didn’t take it. She had tears in her eyes and she took the bags and walked away. She most likely lived nearby — somewhere.
“I felt like an a-hole for taking the twenty, but she wouldn’t stop telling me to take it, take it.”
“Maybe it was her pride, honey. It was important to her. You’re so wonderful for listening and stopping to do this.” Yeah, that’s who I married.
We’re not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but we try to give when we can. I think most people do. The amount really doesn’t matter — it’s the giving and the empathy and understanding that matters the most. It can change lives. I’ve seen it.
So, that’s my Monday musings for this week. To borrow a phrase from one of my all-time favorite movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, my husband, “He’s a righteous dude.”
Happy Monday everyone and for a little inspiration press play below. Ms. Lauper has a beautiful way of expressing empathy. :).
Photo credits:
Brigitte's Banter 
and whats wrong with a little pollyanna? But i agree Cindy does say it best … and does the husband have brother who is single? I am still looking
Posted by jensine | June 18, 2012, 12:41 pmHa! He does, but he married about a year ago….keep looking, he’ll show up. Or stop “looking” and he’ll show up. Be you and he’ll show up. Took a while for me. :).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 12:43 pmlol … been waiting, not waiting looking, not looking, dating and not dating for the past ten years… getting fed up
Posted by jensine | June 18, 2012, 12:46 pm“And so shines a good deed in a weary world.”—one of my favorite quotes, from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” believe it or not. But it seems very apropos here. 🙂
Posted by crubin | June 18, 2012, 12:54 pmLove that, Carrie and I’ve not heard it before — thank you. :).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 1:03 pmIt reminds me that sharing the load makes carrying the burden easier…the woman just needed help carrying her load and your husband did his part to share that! We often forget that helping doesn’t mean taking on the whole task…it means offering what we have, what we can…Thanks! 🙂
Posted by Margarita | June 18, 2012, 12:57 pmYou are so right and thank you for your nice comment, M. :).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 1:04 pmlucky lady 🙂 and lucky man… sweet story and nice message, Thanks for sharing
Posted by unfetteredbs | June 18, 2012, 2:04 pmWhat a nice thing to say — thank you so much, UnFet BS. ;).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 2:15 pmEmpathy- such a powerful tool! True post, and that is what makes it all the more pleasing to read and analyzing a very important lesson!
🙂
Posted by howanxious | June 18, 2012, 3:05 pmWhy thank you! So glad you enjoyed and so appreciate your taking the time to read. :).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 3:07 pmAn infectiously happy post…! Lovely.
Posted by rococonnor | June 18, 2012, 3:50 pmThanks so much and nice to see you here. Must visit you! Hope your meditations are going lovely. :).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 6:01 pmSuch a cute story of how you and your husband met. I always enjoy hearing those stories. And he sounds like a keeper! Mr. Weebles does stuff like that too. He’s much nicer than I am.
Posted by Madame Weebles | June 18, 2012, 4:13 pmThanks, MW. He most definitely is a keeper and he is way-y nicer than I am so I understand exactly what you mean. Thanks for your nice comment. :).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 6:02 pmI LOVED this story – both how you met your husband and how generous he is- sounds like a keeper
Posted by on thehomefrontandbeyond | June 18, 2012, 5:50 pmWhy thank you! He’s one of a kind alright. ;).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 6:02 pmI did not see the comment above until I wrote mine–both Madame Weebles and I can’t be wrong about your hubbie (I have never used that word before in my life) being a keeper
Posted by on thehomefrontandbeyond | June 18, 2012, 5:52 pmNow that is strange…but in a very, very, very good way. ;).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 6:02 pmWhat a great story – what a great man! Thanks for sharing it. 🙂
Posted by dianasschwenk | June 18, 2012, 6:48 pmHe is great and thank you, Diana. ;).
Posted by Brigitte | June 18, 2012, 6:50 pmIt’s wonderful to hear about good people doing good things. The news is usually filled with only the negative stories. I often think if we could emphasize more of the good things that people do, our society might move in a better direction.
Posted by jmmcdowell | June 18, 2012, 8:16 pmI so completely agree with you JM. Thanks for your nice comment. :).
Posted by Brigitte | June 19, 2012, 8:58 amThanks for sharing your story Brigitte. Sounds like you’ve got yourself a wonderful man. 🙂
Posted by floatingwiththebreeze | June 19, 2012, 5:49 amYou’re most welcome! I do and thanks so much for reading. :).
Posted by Brigitte | June 19, 2012, 8:58 amI read this while still in bed this morning as part of my routine of checking in on my favourite bloggers to start the day with a smile on my face. I didn’t have time to comment then, but this touching story of your husband’s kindness has stayed with me all day – so thank you for making my soul a little happier today x
Posted by Amy French | June 19, 2012, 3:15 pmThat’s so nice, Amy. You made my day with your very sweet comment — thank you!!!
Posted by Brigitte | June 20, 2012, 3:25 pmsuch a great story about how you met your husband. I love that he has the kind of heart to handle that situation the way he did. Something that took an extra 20 minutes could have changed that lady’s world.
Posted by Simon | June 20, 2012, 10:35 amHe’s my honey and he does stuff like that all the time. Thank you, Simon and I think you’re right — it most likely did make a difference.
Posted by Brigitte | June 20, 2012, 10:37 amLovely post, Brigitte. You sure have a keeper there! 🙂
Posted by finally_write | June 20, 2012, 1:01 pmThank you, Sue. Yes I do! I’m very lucky, but then so is he. ;).
Posted by Brigitte | June 20, 2012, 1:03 pmha! But, of course!!! 🙂
Posted by finally_write | June 20, 2012, 1:11 pmI just have to tell you how much I LOVE your blog, I can be having the crummiest of days and then I check my email and there you are!! Reading this just turned my smile back on 🙂
Posted by Unplugged | June 26, 2012, 10:34 pmShelby, you just made me day! What a lovely thing to say — I’m so happy I helped turn your smile back on. That is awesome. 🙂
Posted by Brigitte | June 27, 2012, 9:41 am