Hello my friends! It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. Not just posts, anything. I feel rusty but I’ll get back into it, find my stride again. I’ve missed you, missed writing, missed a stable place to just be.
I sit out here on my new patio with a couple of giant ferns slightly swaying, a pink-flowered begonia I look at every once in awhile because it makes me so happy. There’s rosemary planted in a favorite pot sitting atop an old sweet chest that I refuse to let go of and basil, thyme and spearmint planted in another pot. I breathe in the goodness that is my life.
I’m settling in. Settling down and it feels so good. Limbo, which I have been in for nearly a year, is an unsettling place to be. Have you ever been there? Why is it so important for us to feel as if we are in a home? Not a temporary place that’s a stopover to somewhere else but a home. What makes it so?
It’s that One Thing.
Home to me is a place that has my personality, my family — hubby and the sweet pups. That personality is reflected in things. The things that bring comfort. We collect them throughout the years, these odds and ends. We get rid of some, hold tight to others because they become a part of us. Bring back wonderful memories. Favorite sheets. Pictures. Photos of loved ones that we don’t pull out to look at much, but we know they are there if we want to.
Much of my things have been packed up in one state then shipped to another. Unpacking is overwhelming. You realize that you have to let go of some things to make room for others. You have to adapt those favorite things to a new place, a new home. It’s liberating and as much as I’ve moved, it’s never easy. To let go of this and that. But when I do, it always makes room for other things to come in. I feel like a chameleon, I change and adapt and become the me I will be in this new spot.
I realize what I really love, those things that truly reflect who I am instead of stuff that was just filling a space. I realize what’s important.
The Secret to Life
Do you remember the movie, City Slickers? Billy Crystal plays this middle-aged guy who sells air for a radio station or something like that. He’s unhappy. Feels unsettled. Wonders what it’s (life) all about.
So he goes on, with his wife’s blessing, a trip where he and some friends have to take cattle from one place to another out in the middle of…I don’t remember, help me here, Colorado or Wyoming or one of those wide-open, God’s country places. Anyway during his journey he discovers what’s really important from doing things he’s never done. His mettle is tested.
There’s this scene, my favorite one, when he’s talking to this old, experienced cowboy played by Jack Palance. Palance seems like an asshole but he’s not, he’s just lived a different life and he asks Billy Crystal, “Do you know what the secret to life is?”
“No what?” Crystal askes.
“This,” Palance says as he holds up one finger.
“What your finger?”
“One thing, just one thing,” Palance tells him. “You stick to that and everything else don’t mean sh*t.”
“That’s great, but what’s the one thing?”
“That’s what you gotta figure out,” Palance tells him.
My One Thing
So on this limbo, crazy journey that’s been my life for nearly a year, I’ve grown. I’ve learned. I’ve endured loss, sadness, anxiety and every thing in between. But, through it all, I know what my one thing is. I have beautiful moments now that fill me with peace. I have a greater understanding of the rhythm of life. I have a deeper love for my family and I know that whatever is ahead, I can manage it.
And this: I am exactly where I am supposed to be with people I love and who love me. I can RELAX. And let me tell you, that One Thing is very sweet indeed.
The rest — doesn’t mean sh*t.
What’s your one thing? And, how are you?
I’m still looking. When I find it, I will yell it from the rooftop. I can truthfully say I’m happy you found yours.
PS It was Colorado, and, every time I watch that film, I cry when Billy Crystal tells the story about seeing his first baseball game.
Hey Addie! I think the One Thing changes and evolves all the time. That One Thing to me is family. And isn’t City Slickers a great movie?? I love that scene too. Lot of cool sub-plots going on in that movie.
Thank you and so good to see you.
I am still looking with Addie–I know what I want it to be – serenity–which is kind of like relaxed with security
I think we’re always looking you know? It just feels wonderful to relax. I’ve always said if you have peace you have everything. And yeah serenity and security. Two good “One Things.” Hey my friend, so good to see you here and thank you.
I am glad you have found home–we all need that stability–I know what being in the land of the unsettled is all about
I know you know, Lou and I so hope you’re having some settled times yourself.
they are coming–I can feel it–or is that just the humidity?
The humidity has finally calmed down here! Geez. I forgot what Southern humid was. But sweeter weather is coming. Both literally and metaphorically — for both of us. 😉
we are getting a couple more days of heat and humidity but by the end of the week, fall will be back along with the sweeter weather
I’m not good with ‘limbo’ either – that’s my life for the past couple of years – after my husband graduated from college and was looking for work – we were in the limbo of not moving forward …and it made me antsy as all get out. Congrats on your new home and getting back into being ‘HOME’ –
Hi Ruta, I don’t know if truly anyone is, you know? I found if I can settle down long enough, meditation helps during those limbo times. Thank you and I hope you and yours are in a nice, stable spot in your life. So nice to see you!!
Nice to see you too!
I know a couple of people that have to keep moving or they get antsy 🙂
I’m a wanderer at heart myself but I think I ready to settle for a little while anyway. 😉
Good question Brigitte and Jack. I would say that it is surrounding yourself with friends and family that become your posse to love and support you.
Susie, I so agree with you. That is most definitely the One Thing! Hope you and yours are wonderful and thank you.
This was so good for me to hear today, Brigette. My life has been populated with so many series of transitions in the past years, and I know that there are still more to come. But it’s so important for me to remember that as everything exterior shifts, I have love and family at my core and that they’re not going anywhere. I’m glad you’re finding some relaxation and it’s great to see you around!
Hi Em, I know what you mean. I guess that’s what life is all the time — transitions but sometimes it seems they come all at once! I know, my family — as long as I have that, I have everything. That’s the One Thing. Thank you, Emily and thanks so much for stopping by. I hope to be back around more frequently.
Home should definitely be a comfortable, safe spot, which is why it breaks my heart to know there are many who don’t have that sanctity, whether it be because of homelessness, poverty, or domestic abuse. I’m glad that you’re settling back into yours and that you’re refinding your equilibrium. And I loved City Slickers. My one thing? I think it always comes back to my family.
I know what you mean, Carrie. I know how lucky I am! And yes, family, that’s it. Thank you.
Nice to see you Ms B !! My one thing, as you know, is my family. They keep my feet grounded while rest of me flails about uncontrollably.
Hey Audra, thanks. Slowly but surely and I’m right there with you. 😉
Sent from Brigitte’s iPad
I’m so happy you are back. I need the one thing but I have so many things, so I guess I must be extra lucky! xoxox I’m glad you are coming out of limbo, I’ve been there and I wouldn’t want a return visit.
Hey Maggie-May! Great to see you here. You and me both — lucky with lots,eh? Yeah that limbo thing is a drag and it’s good to be out of it. Xo
Hey Brigitte. So good to see you! Wow! Just one thing? But seriously, like you, my one thing is the love I share with family and friends. My husband is my rock and my sister is my best friend and I just got to spend two weeks with both of them! My sister visited and the three of us had a wonderful time! So lovely to see that you’re in your home!
Hi Cathy — great to see you too. It sounds, and from your latest post and gorgeous pic, looks as if you had a wonderful time. We are very lucky! Nice to be settled for awhile.
I am soooo very fine and happy to read you again, Brigitte! Can we have 2 things?!? I have Love and Travels and feel soooo right, right there, right now, with that person.
So good even as I write these words because I realize your words were so good and spot on!
Hi Juls!! How goes your wonderful travels? Sounds as if you’ve got a beautiful “one thing” going on and I’m so happy for you. Thank you my friend.
Wonderful travels indeed! I’m at the end of my stay in France and head out to the US in 2 weeks exactly! Lots of fun coming up there too!
Be well and Enjoy the day!
Woo-hoo. What fun, that’s wonderful, Juls!!
You always pose such interesting questions. This is something I think about pretty frequently, although in slightly different terms–more of a broad, mission-statement type thing than a single element. I like thinking about it in a new way.
I’d say off the top of my head my “thing” is to love: people, places, concepts. Everything you love is another thing to live for.
Hi Smak, nice to see you. You’re a deep thinker so I’m always fascinated by your take on things. And I agree with you. That’s really all there is, all that matters. Thank you.
Family and friends are the one thing for me. With them in my life, I can better handle the curves that Life enjoys throwing. I think there’s a lot of wisdom in the old saying, “Home is where the heart is.” Having moved a number of times, I know how unsettling and uncomfortable limbo can be, too. So I’m very glad to hear that you’re once again settling in and finding your rhythm. You have been missed, Brigitte!
Hi JM, thank you and thanks for saying I’ve been missed — that means a lot! And you are right about home is where the heart is and as my heart is with my little family — wherever that may be. Some of us are just wanderers, eh? Thanks friend.
Sent from Brigitte’s iPad
I’ve been 5 years in one spot so ever the itchy feet we may downsize and try city life for a while……..there will never be any downsizing of my book collection though, that will always be where the heart of my home is, accompanied by a nice cup of tea and my grandson on my lap. Monday’s certainly haven’t been the same without you Brigitte x
Hey NP! We too downsized and it is liberating! A city adventure sounds very nice. Why not, right?? And thank you for your sweet comment — so appreciated.
Having seen “The Graduate” at an impressionable age, I always thought the one thing was plastics. Nice to hear you’re still around, Brig.
I too saw that movie at an impressionable age, V. Benjamin didn’t take dude’s advice though and he learned some worldly things…HA. Love that movie and love that you stopped in.
Hello Brigitte! So nice to see you! Just one thing? Hmmm. It might be attending in my life, being wide awake and open, noticing the beauty that surrounds us. Like that gorgeous flower in your post.
Hi Sally, nice to see you! Staying wide awake and noticing is the most difficult part but oh so worth it. Hope things are great in your world.
I’m definitely in the process of still looking for it but I think it’s starting to take on a vague, indefinite shape. It’s there, I know it is, but at the moment still elusively just out of reach. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s to accept that it’s okay not to know where the destination is or what the end result is and just go with the flow (though much easier said than done of course). Happy to hear you’ve settled in and are enjoying the little moments.
Hi Lillian and how are you? Are YOU settled yet? I do know what you mean about trying to accept that we don’t have to know the destination, just enjoy the journey. I’m much better at that some days than others and I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER when I do. But the little control freak in me takes over sometimes! So great to see you here — thank you.
My One Thing is trusting my small still voice. xoxoM
Oh that is a very good One Thing. I need to do that myself more often, M. xo
Nice post – I often wonder why I hang onto so many things. I think my one thing is probably creating something. Whether it’s at work or at home I’m contented when I create.
Thanks Artsi — is your name Vanessa?? I like to call you Artsi because you well, you are. I didn’t think of that — creating — but it makes so much sense. I can tell from your photographs that you are totally in the moment when you “create” your pictures — they’re so good and capture so much. I feel that way when I write or paint. That’s a great one thing. Nice to see you!!
Sent from Brigitte’s iPad
What a lovely meditation on the meaning of place, home, and purpose. Plants and gardens make me to happy, too. I don’t know what it is about them, the endless variety of shapes, textures, colors… but I could stare at them forever. It’s funny that you mention “that one thing.” I just happened to do a blog post today about a photographer who has dedicated his life to his ‘one thing’… he’s a total inspiration. For me, anyway. If you get a chance, look at the video–I think it will mean something for you. xx
Laura, thank you! I just love being around them — plants, they are living things and I have emotion for them — kind of weird, huh? I am going to visit your blog and have a look at what you are referring to. Thank you and thanks so much for your wonderful comment and stopping in!