Hello my friends! It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. Not just posts, anything. I feel rusty but I’ll get back into it, find my stride again. I’ve missed you, missed writing, missed a stable place to just be.
I sit out here on my new patio with a couple of giant ferns slightly swaying, a pink-flowered begonia I look at every once in awhile because it makes me so happy. There’s rosemary planted in a favorite pot sitting atop an old sweet chest that I refuse to let go of and basil, thyme and spearmint planted in another pot. I breathe in the goodness that is my life.
I’m settling in. Settling down and it feels so good. Limbo, which I have been in for nearly a year, is an unsettling place to be. Have you ever been there? Why is it so important for us to feel as if we are in a home? Not a temporary place that’s a stopover to somewhere else but a home. What makes it so?
It’s that One Thing.
Home to me is a place that has my personality, my family — hubby and the sweet pups. That personality is reflected in things. The things that bring comfort. We collect them throughout the years, these odds and ends. We get rid of some, hold tight to others because they become a part of us. Bring back wonderful memories. Favorite sheets. Pictures. Photos of loved ones that we don’t pull out to look at much, but we know they are there if we want to.
Much of my things have been packed up in one state then shipped to another. Unpacking is overwhelming. You realize that you have to let go of some things to make room for others. You have to adapt those favorite things to a new place, a new home. It’s liberating and as much as I’ve moved, it’s never easy. To let go of this and that. But when I do, it always makes room for other things to come in. I feel like a chameleon, I change and adapt and become the me I will be in this new spot.
I realize what I really love, those things that truly reflect who I am instead of stuff that was just filling a space. I realize what’s important.
The Secret to Life
Do you remember the movie, City Slickers? Billy Crystal plays this middle-aged guy who sells air for a radio station or something like that. He’s unhappy. Feels unsettled. Wonders what it’s (life) all about.
So he goes on, with his wife’s blessing, a trip where he and some friends have to take cattle from one place to another out in the middle of…I don’t remember, help me here, Colorado or Wyoming or one of those wide-open, God’s country places. Anyway during his journey he discovers what’s really important from doing things he’s never done. His mettle is tested.
There’s this scene, my favorite one, when he’s talking to this old, experienced cowboy played by Jack Palance. Palance seems like an asshole but he’s not, he’s just lived a different life and he asks Billy Crystal, “Do you know what the secret to life is?”
“No what?” Crystal askes.
“This,” Palance says as he holds up one finger.
“What your finger?”
“One thing, just one thing,” Palance tells him. “You stick to that and everything else don’t mean sh*t.”
“That’s great, but what’s the one thing?”
“That’s what you gotta figure out,” Palance tells him.
My One Thing
So on this limbo, crazy journey that’s been my life for nearly a year, I’ve grown. I’ve learned. I’ve endured loss, sadness, anxiety and every thing in between. But, through it all, I know what my one thing is. I have beautiful moments now that fill me with peace. I have a greater understanding of the rhythm of life. I have a deeper love for my family and I know that whatever is ahead, I can manage it.
And this: I am exactly where I am supposed to be with people I love and who love me. I can RELAX. And let me tell you, that One Thing is very sweet indeed.
The rest — doesn’t mean sh*t.
What’s your one thing? And, how are you?